Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Do you do this, too?

I've been starting my days off with reading a daily devotional or certain bible studies on my phone through the Bible App.  I've been filling my days with Christian music while working and trying to stay away from negativity and things that wouldn't honor God i.e., certain movies, certain music & no cussing! I can tell you now, I never used to believe this would help me.  I WAS WRONG! I have been wrong in all my beliefs and God is showing me just how wrong I was. 

I work as a Closer/Funder for a mortgage company. Sometimes people write letters of explanations in regards to their circumstances, to possibly have an UW give an exception on something they are asking of the borrowers. Today, I read a letter of explanation and it just about dropped me down into depression again.  This family was asking for an exception on something and their reasoning broke my heart.  A family of 4 small children, dad and a Mom (6 years younger than me) was recently diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer and going into chemotherapy tomorrow. So, they asked for an exception and a rush on getting the docs out. They wanted an exception for their current house they are leasing but haven't gotten someone to rent it quite yet.  They want to move into a larger home so family can stay with them as the Mom is going through chemotherapy. I started looking around the file and putting myself in the family's position asking myself  "How would I feel, how would my children feel, what would my husband do, will she have very much longer to live and to even enjoy her children and this house?"

I emailed the Loan Officer and told her I will be praying for the family and I intend to tell our bible study group about this family (not their names of course) and we will all be praying. I also asked for her to let me know when God performs His miracle on her because I do believe it will happen. The loan officer replied with "God has had His hand in this from the beginning." I loved seeing her response. I'm trying to go out of my comfort zone and talk about Christ any chance I can get and I'm fearful I could possibly lose my job over doing so. Not with these lovely ladies who I work with.....I'm so very blessed and I had no idea they were believers. I was pleasantly surprised.

Normally, I would have lost a day to thinking about this family, most likely crying about this family and taking this pain home & holding it close to my heart.  This time, it didn't happen.  This time I immediately gave it to God and said "God, your plans are far better than we know and even if your miracle is to take her to Heaven to be with you, then so be it. I won't be sad because you are good, your love is the best and you know all"

His way feels so much better than my own.  I didn't cry. I didn't keep the pain close to my heart. I just prayed about it when I thought about their family and trusted God. Period. Nothing more. That simple.

Just now, I opened up one of my daily devotionals and it is in regards to this exact same situation.  It says, "April 22nd, Listen to me continually. I have much to communicate to you, so many people and situations in need of prayer. I am training you to set your mind on Me more and more, tuning out distractions through the help of My Spirit. Walk with me in holy trust, responding to My initiative rather than trying to make things fit your plans. I died to set you free, and that includes freedom from compulsive planning. When your mind spins with a multitude of thoughts, you cannot hear My voice.A mind preoccupied with planning pays homage to the idol of control. Turn from this idolatry back to Me. Listen to Me and live abundantly." Jesus calling by Sarah Young.

I am now set free and living abundantly all because of Christ's love for me. All because I stopped talking, planning and worrying. Instead I'm listening and looking all around to see God's plan.  All because now His love for me is the only thing I put my worth in. What I wear, what my hair looks like, if I have make-up on, how skinny or large I am...NONE OF IT MATTERS anymore. He has made me complete. I'm sticking with Him. He's my guy always and forever. His love is so good, I want you to feel it too - so I will share. Just try it.......

In Him ,
Delinda