Do you know how it feels once you find your purpose in life, placed there by God? Have you ever experienced the feeling? It is nothing short of amazing. . . I liken it to the same feeling as seeing your first born child and I cry about it every time I think about it.
People are afraid to go into the jail and truth be told, I was afraid my first time too. I don’t think I told anyone, or said it out loud because I didn’t want to speak it over myself, but I was. However, I was also trusting in God, knowing He put me in the position for a purpose. I didn’t seek this out. Who seeks out going into a jail to teach them about Christ? I didn’t but I can tell you this. . . the people He put in my life, to get me into the jail to teach about God’s love – was purposeful & so perfect.
What God has done to me & for me, taking me into the jail and allowing me to teach His beautiful daughters all about His love – is a miracle in itself.
Yes, I see a miracle every time I go in, at least one woman raises her hand to get Jesus, but it’s usually way more than one woman.
When they come into the room we greet them, I usually shake their hand but I put both of my hands around their hand. I look them right in their eyes and tell them how happy I am that they came today. Why do I do this? I feel like this is exactly what Jesus would be saying or doing to them, if He saw them in that moment. You see, they didn’t have to come to women’s English bible study (that is what we call it going into the jail), they made the choice to come out of their pod and interact with us. In fact, I know God is in Heaven rejoicing over their choice to come to bible study. You know the verse Luke, “Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Some of the women who come in, will not look you in the eyes, some are really shy and just look down. Some are just so sad or broken and they look away from you, as you hold their hand. I just want them to feel God’s love, for them. . . their sin doesn’t matter to me, and it shouldn’t matter to you or anyone else. God changes people.
When they walk in the room, you can actually see the brokenness on their faces. They are so lost and so sad and you can see it! They watch the DVD sermon from Pastor Micahn and then their faces change. Normally, they start to cry and/or sob really, it breaks my heart every darn time. . . I think I’ve cried every time I’ve gone in but it’s been tears that are ok. . . . if that makes sense. I am crying with them because maybe they are realizing for the first time, the devastation they have caused their kids or family. Or, maybe it’s just a reminder to them of their past actions and how they used to be. Either way, I feel for them.
I love them. They are all so beautiful. I look at them all like they are HIS daughters and they’ve never been taught about Him or heard about His amazing love.
I’m not sure really how to convey this type of love other than to say it’s an “Agape” love. . . which is the exact sermon Pastor Micahn was preaching last weekend while we were watching the DVD at the jail. This love is a crazy love, that looks crazy to everyone else but God. This love for His women and His beautiful daughters, even felt crazy to me! I’ve been talking to Him so much just saying, “Why God? Why do I love them like this? This feels so crazy and to the outside world I’m pretty sure I look and sound crazy.” And then I saw the sermon and it all made sense to me. God’s changed my heart. He’s given me His heart to love on His beautiful daughters. How do I know this? Well, because I know how I used to be. Some of these crimes these women have committed, in the past, I would have been appalled, I would have been thinking, “Well stay away from them, they are scary people.” And now, I feel nothing of the sorts. I feel the exact opposite for them. And, I’ve come to realize we really need to change the stigma about “being in jail” or “locked up in prison” because we are all just a step away from being their ourselves. Just one wrong turn or decision, and we could all end up there. . . you know so many people are trying to change the stigma about mental illness and I agree with it but I also feel like we need to change this “being in jail” stigma. I was one of the worst offenders of being afraid of people who had been in jail, so I can say this about myself – He has changed my heart, so I know He can change yours too.
If you have been thinking about going to church, come sit with me at Together church. Start serving on a team, watch God move and change you. He can and will do it, if you are open to Him. Then maybe you can start serving with me on the Jail Ministry team, and you too will get to see a miracle every single time you step inside the big iron gate. This to me is proof God can make good of bad. If it’s His will, He will do it and now I have the proof!
My plan was suicide. His plan for me, is jail ministry. I’m so glad I listened to Him and learned all about His love for me. Won’t you try it? Are you at the bottom of yourself? Are you struggling? Do you feel like you are missing something, or have a hole in your heart? It is a hole the size of Jesus – He placed it there when you were born and you will have the hole your entire life, until you find Him and learn all about just how much He loves you. I’m praying for you my friend. I love you, just like He loves you. Please, get in touch with me.
For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—His eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. For although they knew God, they neither glorified Him as God nor gave thanks to Him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.
He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.