She's come undone.......

I want you to understand first before I go into this; this is not judgment from me.  This is me being open and honest about my feelings, and what has happened and how God has changed us and continues to change us daily in our walk with Him. We are thankful for everyone and every situation He has given us or put in our paths.

All of it.

Thankful.

Blessed.

We see His gifts and His fruits and we just want more of Him, and want to share Him with all of our friends and family. We want you to know His love and the joy only He can give you.

Something I’ve learned lately is we are not the ones who decide who God will use to speak to us. Not that I thought I would be the one to choose but more like he would use the same type of people for the rest of my life. This is crazy to think about, don’t you think?  Is it because I am such a new-baby-Christian, is this why I thought He would use the same type of people? I’m not sure why I thought that, other than I’m a pretty naïve person, childlike, and a lot of times it’s to my detriment.

We moved in May of this year, back to our hometown. We moved from a big city, with many options for dinner, entertainment and friends; friends who were “family” to us. They were so close to us, they knew all the good, all the bad and they all still just loved us – right where we were.  These people were all older than us. They were established in their Christian walk, they appeared to be living for Christ, all were married and married for a long time. They had a good relationship with their husbands/wives/friends. We felt as though they loved us just like Christ loves us….right where we were…..no requirements for change but still learning, of course. They kind of carried us new-baby-Christians for the first 3 years, not carried us like enabling us but carried us like, “Do this, or don’t do that because Christ said this or that about doing such and such……..” they were all mentors to us.  

And, I knew I would miss them all dearly but I didn’t prepare myself for just how much I would miss them. I just never realized once we moved here, I would find myself crying about missing my friends, feeling lonely and as if I didn’t fit in with our new family/friends/church family. Questioning myself, “Was this the right choice?” I missed the fact they knew all the good and the bad about us, they knew how we would respond to a certain situation, they knew what we needed and would call and say, “Come over for a BBQ and just hang out with us,” this would always lead to a talk about the bible and what we have learned or were studying and they would give their insights and fill us up with their knowledge. We always felt good when we left our time with our friends.

In early 2016, I heard a sermon from our Pastor at the time about Mark 5:19 where Jesus said, “Go home to your family, and tell them everything the Lord has done for you and how merciful He has been.” I knew God was telling us to move back to Yakima and I thought to myself, “OH NO, NOT back to Yakima – God you know what my old friends believe about me. You know what they think about Jason. Not Yakima God, anywhere BUT Yakima. No. Just No.”  I told Jason what I was hearing, and he said, “No, we won’t be moving back there again, NOT Yakima.”

So, we just prayed about it.

For an entire year, we prayed about it.

A part of me wanted to move home because it’s “home” for me but the main part of me was scared to death because of my past life. My life before Christ and what I was like, my sins, my scarlet letter, all of it…..I kept it in the back of my mind and it was as if Satan was saying, “Don’t forget the bad parts Delinda, you don’t want to move back there, for sure because you  know what everyone there knows about you!”

We finally couldn’t hold off any longer, the voice just kept getting louder and louder about moving, “Go home to family, so you can show them what I’ve done and changed in your life Delinda. Go. Go home.”

God just kept talking to me, and His voice overrode the adversary’s voice – loud and clear. I heard Him tell us, “It’s time now, Go.”

So in March, Jason finally heard the voice too. He heard, “Go, go and use the gifts I’ve given you.” He was still reluctant and putting some things on God like,

“Ok, so if it’s meant to be then, help us find a home.”

Boom. He found us a home.

“Ok, so if it’s meant to be then help us find work, or let our current employers keep us to work remotely.”

Boom. They allowed us to work remotely.

“OK, so if it’s meant to be, make sure the appraisal comes in at such and such value.”

Boom. He made the value *EXACTLY* what we needed it to be on the home we were purchasing.

And this was when Jason was sold on moving and said, “This *IS* God’s will, we gotta go now.”

Fast forward to July.

We found some friends but they certainly didn’t look ANYTHING like we knew prior.  These friends all had a torrid past, (we did too-so no judgment of the sorts) and may not have the crazy amounts of knowledge of the bible like our old friends but they still had bible knowledge. In fact, these friends were pretty much ALL younger than us; ex-addicts, ex-cons, ex-gang-members, ex-prostitutes, ex-drug dealers……you name it, they’ve done it.  And again, please know my heart and where I’m coming from – only from love. I love our new friends, as equally as I love our old friends….they are just different, which does NOT mean bad in anyway shape or form. We all have the same Father, we share the same love and we love all of our friends. God used an entire family; Travis, Diesta, their children, Diesta’s Brother, Jesse and Travis’ Mom, Anna. Their whole family, we fell in love with them and their hearts for Christ.

They invited us to attend a rap concert in the park. Mind you, the only rap I ever listened to was JA Rule and that was in the 90’s I think and was that really rap?  Or maybe from time to time, some Eminem, (before I found Christ, of course J) so the amount of times I came into contact with rap music was limited, to say the least. I never could understand it, ever. I couldn’t get what they were saying. I heard the cuss words, and the bad stuff but I just couldn’t get the music. I was more along the Grunge or heavy music like System-of-a-Down, or Korn….that kind of stuff, I could understand it. I liked the beat, and before I met Christ this is what I listened to.(which also sounds crazy to me now, mind you!)

Who knew there were Christian Rap artists? I didn’t but I was going to hear them at this concert we were going to. I was reluctant to go because I wasn’t familiar with it but I thought, “These friends we just met, we love them, our lives are nothing like each other’s but we really just feel drawn to them. It must be their love of God. I mean we have the same Father, so if they are Christian and they are asking us to go, then it must be ok and we should just try it.” (We spent the entire weekend with this family and you know to others & to us in the beginning, it may appear as though we are “different” from one another but in all reality, we found out, we are more alike than we thought. We’ve all struggled and then found God. Period.)

So we went with them.

It was a car show, a rap concert and a local teenage talent show. OK, this is getting interesting now.

The car show was pretty cool and once it was over, they had the teenage talent show up next. We heard a kid sing, we saw a couple girls dance, and then we saw a young girl doing something I had never heard of called, “Spoken Word.” Her voice and everything about her, made me stop doing what I was currently focusing on (probably scrolling or flipping through my phone, cause I wasn’t paying the best of attention and was zoning out, until she came on) and she was doing this “Spoken Word” about how parents need to be parenting their children, and getting involved in their lives and it’s what children want. I was floored. She was extremely talented. Every time she was done with one card, she threw it to the ground and started reading with conviction, the next card. She had a strong voice and I was sobbing by the time she was done. I was thinking, “What the heck Delinda, calm down, what’s this all about anyway? I mean I know you are emotional but get over it already, people are watching you cry like a baby.” (Hahahahahha, just the things that go through our heads, funny huh? Little did I know, what was to come from her)

So then they had the rap artists sing. Oh my gosh, they were all so talented and I’m not sure what happened to me but these guys I understood all their words they were singing, rapping. All of it, I got it. Is it because God changed my heart? You know how they say, when God comes into your life, things change, your heart changes, and you understand things you never understood before. Is that what happened to me? Was it the renewing of my mind? I’m not sure but that is my guess. My mouth hung open when I heard them sing “The most beautiful love letter you ever wrote, was when you died”, I get it now and they were just so very good! (When I got home, I went online and downloaded all their songs because listening to them was like hearing their testimonies in every song – just how God had changed them and now I’m hooked!) I always hear from God, through music – it’s just how He gets to me and as any Good Father knows, they know things about their children.

Then when the artists were all done singing, the last artist did an altar call. This started out as a normal altar call. People went forward who didn’t know Christ and wanted a part of Him, or Him to help change something in their lives. Then he changed the altar call to, “So everyone out there who knows someone who isn’t currently living for Christ, come forward.”

Well, we have several of our children who aren’t living for Christ and they are all on my mind – daily. In fact, one of them specifically, I’ve been praying for since he was 10 years old before I really even knew Christ. I just saw his life and the way it was going and just kept praying for him, mostly out of fear.

We went forward.

Then he said, “OK, so now all of my prayer warriors who could come pray over these people, for their loved ones who don’t know Christ, please come forward and help me.”

He said, “So if you are needing prayer, please open your palms and face them up. If you are praising God, just put your hands to the sky and hold them up.”

So of course, I wanted prayer for our kids who don’t know Him. I was constantly praying under my breath at this point and no one could have heard or made sense of what I was saying. I was doing it quietly and keeping the words to myself more so than letting them out.

Well, guess who the prayer warrior was who came and prayed over me? The young girl who was doing the “Spoken word” she was probably 16 years old. She prayed over me and said back to me, almost every single prayer I was saying under my breath for our children. Then she said something no one else knew but Jason and God. I hadn’t repeated this to anyone around me. She put her hand on my stomach and said, “God, her cries are many and they are painful. She is lonely. Please help her God, only you can help her because you know why.” And as I’m typing this, I’m crying again. I’m not crying because I’m sad. I’m crying because I’m grateful that He hears my cries. He knows. He answers prayers and He confirmed all of this to me – through a 16 year old girl, through an ex-gang-member couple, who are now our family, who got us to this concert. 

Had we said “No” to our new friends/family, I would have never heard from God how I did on this night. By the end of her prayers, I was sobbing, I had come undone. LITERALLY! 

He did it again, just when I needed Him, He came through for me, He showed me His face. 

He also told me,
“Delinda, I used Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and they were teenagers. I used Mary and she was 14 years old.  I use who I want to speak to you, YOU do NOT choose who I use to speak. I make those choices. And your only job, is to listen. I gave you these new friends for a reason. They are good people and this is why I put them in your path. They can help to teach you about me, too and you can do life together.”

So then a week goes by and I was trying to convey what had happened to our friends when we saw them at a BBQ. And unbeknownst to me, these same people were praying for us before they even knew us. My sister is friends with them and had them praying for us. HOW CRAZY GOOD IS GOD!?!?!?!?! Oh thank you God, for putting them in our life as you did.

So my question to you – are you listening?

He’s talking.

Are you listening?

We as humans put those dumb labels on people, “ex-gang member” “ex-prostitute” and for myself, I have labeled myself, “Ex-Adulterer” “Ex-Cheater” “Ex-Home-Wrecker” and it’s time to rid myself of those names.

God doesn’t call me by those names. God calls me “His Beloved” and this is what I’m going to continue to call myself and this is what I’m going to continue to call my new church family members, “His Beloved” because in His eyes – this is what we are – let all other labels fall…….cause they are just that, labels and nothing more.

The most important and ONLY LABEL you should be calling yourself  – His Beloved.

And these new friends of ours, they are the most loving and caring people you’ll ever meet. They would give you the shirt off their back if you needed it. In fact, a few weeks later a couple of them went with my husband, my daughter and myself to do some door-to-door evangelism. To tell people about God, His love and what He has for them.  They are soft spoken, non-confrontational and loving – just like Christ is…..they are the epitome of the Body of Christ. They are the people you want in your corner, when things are going really well – to cheer you on, and when things are going badly – to pray with and for you.

So if we were looking at them in their past lives, we may not think that about them. Just as if they were looking at us in our past lives, they wouldn't think that about us either!

But when God snatches you out of your old life, things change. He renews your mind, He redeems you and your story and He changes you. He changes you for the good.  He gives you so many more wonderful and loving friends than you ever had before. You need to pay attention. You cannot fall back into your old self, the old depression and feel sorry for yourself, like I almost did. You have to focus on the good, focus on the people He put in front of you and you must trust Him.

And you have to listen!!

Thank you Maltos family, for taking us in and loving us like your own family!