Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Just a Mom...........

(I am sure my sister is sick of hearing this one - haha)

My little sister is 4 years younger than I am.  I remember visiting my Mom at Memorial Hospital after she gave birth to her. I can remember the day my Mom brought her home for me. I remember the smell of her skin, the softness of it and how I always wanted to hold her or be by her. I believe this is one of the interactions which made me always want to be a Mom. My Mom tells me when I was little, people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grow up and I would always say "A Mom". High hopes huh? I didn't aspire to be a lawyer, a doctor or anything else. Just a Mom.

Now I am 42 years old and my first baby is graduating from high school in June. Now, "just a mom" feels like I was a doctor, a defense attorney, a nurse, a chauffeur, a chef, an event planner, teacher and police officer! 

I was his defense attorney when a kid at his grade school bit him in the neck. I marched him back to school and had him tell the teacher. I had to defend him for crying out loud.

I was his police officer and tried to save him when he was 8 weeks old. I pulled off to the side of the road to get the mail at our house way out in the country. There was black ice on the road and I heard a truck coming fast. It didn't see my lights I guess and I could hear him slam on his breaks and now he was sliding toward the car. The car I just got out of and left my 8 week old newborn inside.  I ran behind the car and in front of the truck waving my hands saying "no, no, no, no" as if I could do something, right?  When I realized this wouldn't work, I took off running into the field because I didn't know where the car would be pushed and what if it hit me? Can you imagine how this looked? Probably hilarious!!

I was his doctor when we went through different medications for GERD when he was just 3 years old. One medication he took he started running around crying telling me he had bugs all over him. The doctor in me said to stop the medication. We did. I was his doctor when the doctors told me he wasn't allergic to milk. I knew what was going on. I was his mother and he was just inside me for 9 months, sheesh! 18 months of age and they sent us to UW to get tested and sure enough he was extremely allergic to milk, cheese, eggs and lettuce.  HA HA lettuce? Yeah, I know weird. 

I was his nurse when he would have the flu. I would wake up before he got sick, every time before he even woke up, and then I would go to him. He would start to throw up and I would put my hands out like I was going to catch it? What the heck? I'm a little weird I know. I would nurse him back to health with cuddles, hugs, kisses and I never cared if I got sick too.  It just didn't matter. Yes, I was sick a lot when he was little but it was all worth it.

His chauffer,you all get it, Moms are always the chauffeurs right?

Yes, I was his chef. I solely breastfed him till he was 14 months old and it counts, so there. I will never forget his face the first time I fed him the baby food called garden vegetables, he loved them! And I can make an awesome pasta. Its all I've got but hey, I was still his chef! 

I was his teacher when I bought him Hooked on Phonics Jr and taught him how to read at 4 years old.

I was his event planner when every birthday came around.  Or when we had kids come over to play, we always had fun things planned. 

The best job I've ever had "just a mom". I was paid far more than any lawyer, doctor, nurse or teacher could be paid. I was paid with love, the best hugs, the best smiles in the world, happy belly laughing and so many more non-monetary gifts he gave to this Mom. It made me happy just to be around him. I love him what can I say?

I'm sure all parents feel this way about their children.

What amazes me - God feels this same way about us! His love is beyond anything we can ever imagine. His love fights off the arrows I throw at myself, when I'm depressed.  When I am following Him and doing what He is asking of me and something happens, a negative thought or doubt creeps in, He fights it off! He just did it for me yesterday. He is everything to us, and what we are to our children....but, EVEN MORE! We'll never realize just how much until we see Him again and even then we will never be able to love how He loves us.

I often think of Jesus up there on the cross and His mother at His feet crying. She knew it was God's will. Could I have done it if I knew it was God's will? Um, no, I know I couldn't. 

I think in my life, I have let the world influence me far too many times and put God to the side but not anymore. 

His love does not mean I will never have depressed days again but it does mean they'll be few and far between. It does not mean He has made me perfect because I am human and will always make mistakes. His love does mean I'm forgiven and it is the exact reason He was on the cross for me. Yes, for me and you! He knows us just how we know our children but even better. He knows our hearts, our thoughts, our names and every single hair on our head. He made us. We are His children, all of us.

His love to me means I will always have a defender of bullies. I will always be loved.  I will never be alone again. The more days I am with Him, reading His book, listening to His word and staying focused on Him.....I feel more peace coming into my life and if you have ever been depressed then you know how good this feels. I see the positive in people now. I see the love coming from people's actions to one another. I hear the kind words people speak. I want to return His love to others. I want to live now, which is remarkable in and of itself. I cannot stop smiling. I could have never done this on my own and you don't have to either.
Praise the Lord.

Luke 12:7

The Message (MSG)
6-7 “What’s the price of two or three pet canaries? Some loose change, right? But God never overlooks a single one. And he pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail—even numbering the hairs on your head! So don’t be intimidated by all this bully talk. You’re worth more than a million canaries.